Book, Inspirational Motivation

Chapter 2 : Mr.Fix-It and the Home-Improvement Committee

The most frequently expressed complaint women have about men is that MEN DON’T LISTEN  – either he completely ignores her when she speaks to him, or he listens for a few beats, assesses and offers her a solution. She wants empathy, but he thinks she wants solutions.

The most frequently expressed complaint men have about women is that WOMEN ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO CHANGE THEM When a woman loves a man she feels responsible to assist him in growing and tries to help him improve the way he does things. She thinks she is nurturing him, while he feels he is being controlled. Instead, he wants her acceptance.


Martians value power, competency, efficiency, and achievement. A man’s sense of self is defined through his ability to achieve results. They experience fulfillment primarily through success and accomplishment.They are more interested in “objects” and “things” rather than people and feelings.

Achieving goals is very important to a Martian because it is a way for him to prove his competence and thus feel good about himself. And for him to feel good about himself he must achieve these goals by himself.

To offer a man unsolicited advice is to presume that he doesn’t know what to do or that he can’t do it on his own.Because he is handling his problems on his own, a Martian rarely talks about his problems unless he needs expert advice. Asking for help when you can do it yourself is perceived as a sign of weakness. If he truly does need help, then it is a sign of wisdom to get it, which in this case, he will find someone he respects and then talk about his problem. Talking about a problem is an invitation for advice, and another Martian feels honoured by the opportunity. This is one of the reasons men instinctively offer solutions when women talk about problems. It is his way of showing love and of trying to help.

He has no idea that by just listening with empathy and interest he can be supportive. He does not know that on Venus, talking about problems is not an invitation to offer a solution.


Venusians value love, communication, beauty, and relationships. They spend a lot of time supporting, helping and nurturing one another. A woman’s sense of self is defined through her feelings and the quality of her relationships. They experience fulfillment through sharing and relating.

Venusians pride themselves in being considerate of the needs and feelings of others. A sign of great love is to offer help and assistance to another Venusian without being asked. Offering help is not offensive, and needing help is not a sign of weakness. A man, however, may feel offended because when a woman offers advice he doesn’t feel she trusts his ability to do it himself. It makes him feel incompetent, weak and even unloved.

Venusians firmly believe that when something is working, it can always work better. Their nature is to want to improve things and suggest how to do it. On the other hand, Martians are more solution oriented. If something is working, their motto is don’t change it. “Don’t fix it unless it is broken.”


Venusians, always assume he can solve his problem unless he is asking for help. Restrain from offering any advice, take a deep breath and just appreciate in your heart what he is trying to do for you.

Generally speaking, when a woman offers unsolicited advice or tries to “help” a man, she has no idea of how critical and unloving she may sound to him.

Learn the wisdom of letting go and accepting without offering unsolicited advice or criticism.


Many times a woman just wants to share her feelings about her day, and her husband, thinking he is helping, interrupts her by offering a steady flow of solutions to her problems.

Martians, try to understand how important it is just to listen without offering solutions. Venusians never offer solutions when someone is talking. A way of honouring another Venusian is to listen patiently with empathy, seeking to truly understand the other’s feelings.

Learn the wisdom of listening without offering solutions.

The two most common mistakes we make in relationships:

1. A man tries to change a woman’s feelings when she is upset by becoming Mr.Fix-It and offering solutions to her problems that invalidate her feelings.

2. A woman tries to change a man’s behaviour when he makes mistakes by becoming the home improvement committee and offering unsolicited advice or criticism.


The mistakes are only in timing and approach.A woman greatly appreciates Mr.Fix-It, as long as he doesn’t come out when she is upset. When women seem upset and talk about problems is not the time to offer solutions; instead, listen and gradually she will feel better on her own. She does not need to be fixed.

A man greatly appreciates the home-improvement committee, as long as it is requested. Unsolicited advice or criticism makes a man feel unloved and controlled. He need sher acceptance more than her advice, in order to learn from his mistakes. When a man feels that a woman is not trying to improve him, he is much more likely to ask for her feedback and advice.

When our partner resists us it is probably because we have made a mistake in our timing and approach.


WOMEN, practice restraining from giving any unsolicited advice or criticism

MEN, practice listening whenever a woman speaks, with the sole intention of respectfully understanding what she is going through.

Book, Inspirational Motivation

I Too Had A Love Story – Ravinder Singh

When Ravin take us along with his journey ,the statement that the world always insists us to live in the present  and to forget the past is flown along with the wind. While he sail back to his past on his ship of love he  also takes the readers along with him . The waves hit the ship in the form of  ecstasy ,pleasure , anticipation, desolation, desolation  thought-out the voyage. The expedition started with exhilaration and it ends up with resurrection. These  emotions which are in the form of waves badly damages the ship on the way to the destination  which is reflected  from is simple, honest and touching way of narration.

The past tense in the title absorbs the verity that the  book is totally dedicated  in  the loving memory of the girl whom  the author loved ,yet could marry .This story expose that not all love stories are meant to have perfect ending and not everyone in this world has a fate to cherish the fullest form of love, some are born just to experience the abbreviation of it.

Ravinder Singh

The story begins with the reunion of four friends  including Ravin . During the reunion they discuss their future plans of getting married and one of the friends suggests Ravin to visit online matrimonial website and  then Ravin  finds out Kushi. After a few months of conversation over phone, they realize that they have started falling in love with each other, although they have never met face-to-face. The spark of love between them was so intense that made a way to their marriage. The pages of their first meeting and the arrangements their  marriage is portrayed so beautifully by the author which makes the readers to fall in  the ocean of love.

But Just before the lighting the engagement, Khushi meets with a road accident .The ship which Ravin took the readers to his past along with his friends ,family and his loving Khushi is shaking with fear and anxiety when Khushi is fallen from the ship to the hands of heaven despite all the medical attempts and prayers. And then the story ends as:


Inspirational Motivation, Motivation

Breathing in Relaxation and Breathing out Tension

What do you mean by tension? In simple words Tension is nothing but it is the evaluation of our mind to a particular thing ,people or situation. The evaluation process  in different people are entirely different from each other to a particular situation/thing . Take the very simple example as the exam ,  few people are really afraid of exams, very  few are confident about  exams  and some people have a don’t care approach to exams. Here the main subject is exam , but the way that different people approach the subject  makes it different.

When person is not talking to you , when a person talks to you ,when your teacher scolds you , when your husband is angry with you and like never ending river the list of tensions flow onto your mind that hits your soul and the water spread s whole over your body  making you weak. The pre setting of our mind on a particular thing, person or situation is the main reason behind tension. When this pre setting in our mind goes wrong; then  we need to disconnect  the wires of our brain that we have already connected to somewhere else. So the only precaution for this disease called tension is to  delete all your pre settings from your mind.Breathe out the contaminated tensions to the air by deleting all the pre assumptions from you mind then automatically you can breathe in the fresh oxygen of relaxation.

Kill Tension Before Tension Kills You

Always remember the thing that nobody is responsible for your tension ,it’s you who creates the tension and it is the same you who is going to suffer from it. You are killing yourself on behalf of tension. You don’t have the right to articulate that anybody is responsible for your tension ,because tension is a big process  that you are making out of your own mind with your own evaluation process that can’t be interrupted by anyone.You are the maintainer of your mind and you are the only one who has the key to operate it .So you decide whether to run your mind smoothly with no pre settings or whether to complicate your mind with all the assumptions that may ruin your system.


The after effect of tension may be  in the form of anger or weep which my negatively hit your atmosphere and reflects back to you with a much worse effect. After the heavy storm and  thunder our mind comes back like a calm river without knowing the truth that the storm and thunder just wasted our energy and time with no reason.

Inspirational Motivation, Motivation

Wolves Never Sleep Over the Opinions of Sheep

The heading of this post conveys the message that the self determined person who is like a  courageous   wolf  that  takes risk in life or  takes a step forward  in life, will  never step backwards by hearing the words that  echoes  around him by others  who are similar to a folk of sheep that run away from risks with fear. One of the most seen phobias in humans are the thoughts that wonder What others will think about me?

Let me ask you a question? Let others think about you whatever they want  .What that thoughts will do to you? Will that thoughts come in the form of ghost and eat you ?Or what is the fear that haunt you? Do you fear that these thought in others mind will spread to a group of people through their words? Dude be practical it’s your life and it’s you decisions and never let others thoughts to imprison you in their cage. The less you fear about what others think the better life will become. Your life is to be lived by you so why you rely on others words. It’s not what others think it’s what you think about you that counts.This doesn’t mean that don’t take good advices from other people , it means that if we have a garden of fruits then we are able to distinguish between a rotten fruit and a ripe fruit ? So you better pluck the ripen fruit and throw the rotten fruit way. Make a shield to protect yourself  about the thoughts of others and be brave enough like warrior and cut he thoughts of others with sword of self esteem.

The Women Who Bleeded her Heart to Words of  Emotions – Kamala Surayya


Kamala Surayya the women who reflected her feelings and emotions in the form of words to the world. I always distinguished Kamala Surayya from other writers  by the point that  other writers  wrote their work with a pen that has ink in it ,but she wrote with a pen that was  filled with her blood .Still after the death of Kamala Surayya her words spreads the realistic fragrance of truth and bravery . When the writers around the world  are  trying to please their readers through their work  Kamala Surayya to her pen to satisfy herself. She never cared about what the readers may think about her by reading her works .So she openly wrote about the things what other women writers was scared to engrave about ,like  love, lust , puberty , menstruation ,physical intimacy and child marriage. Her words were like sharp knives that pointed the society .

Kamala Surayya was a so dedicated women that after her duty of a wife and a mother she sits at  the silence of night to spill the sea that that has been combined by the rivers called  the reality and imagination . Kamala Surayya lived in the pool of controversies that she  did take care of because she believed that the greatest prison the people live is the fear of what other people will think. She was a  river that flooded with unconditional  love .At first she poured her love to her imaginary character called the lord Krishna and  later when she was converted to Islam she too converted her  lord Krishna to Prophet along with her unchanged intensity love . I firmly believe that the success of the writer Kamala Surayya  is firstly the astonishing writing skills  along with the shield of  courage to cut through the controversies that people around her are created .

Inspirational Motivation, Motivation

Take the Risk or Lose the Chance!


We all have seen a football match ,right? In this game 70% of people watch what is going to happen ,another 10% of people wonders what is going to happen ,other 9% criticizes  on what is going to happen. And only 1% of people make things to happen or more clearly we can say that only 1% of people ready to take the risk of playing. This is life where only a few people takes  risk in their life to kick their goal of dreams to the goal post of achievement. Until and unless you take risk in your life you can’t get anywhere in your life.

When you are determined to change your life with risks then automatically  your life fulfills your goals . Never wait for the time or someone to change your life instead take the risk now itself and prove yourself to the world who is watching you . be the biggest player of your life and let other wonder on your accomplishments.

Take Risks In Your Life ,If you Win you can Lead,If you Lose you can Guide!

The main reason that most of us does not take any risks in our life is the fear of failure. I have a question to those who fear failure , If you fail at your risk what is going to happen? Death is the ultimate failure that  human beings think on their way , then for a second close your eyes and try to see the soldiers who are protecting us at each nook and corner of our country . Why can’t they sit at home without risking their lives for people like us ? They too have family like us .But they risk life for us for our future generations. The risk that each soldier take for their country is a ever sparkling  sacrifice beyond words and thoughts.


Actually risk is like a tunnel with only darkness and ultimately you reach the end of the tunnel to see a new brighten life .So if you fail at a risk then take that failure as a guiding light inside the next tunnel of risk. Nor if you win at your risk then let you lead the world as a aspirator that spreads the light of  enlightenment around the globe.

The main problem that arises after we are  determined to take the risk is to face all the negative and positive comments around us. First and foremost don’t ever take the negative comments from an outsider who have no link to you instead try to convince  about your risk taking plan to the  close ones who are arising with negative comments out of fear . If not convinced then be determined,  don’t ever try to  fall in your way  behalf try to behold your risk within your breath and release the negatives to the air that vanishes to heights. Always remember that the person who risks nothing does nothing.

Inspirational Motivation, Motivation

Outer Beauty Attracts and Inner Beauty Captivates

 Once there lived a balloon seller in the outskirts of Florida ,he had all the seven colors of rainbow on his balloons . When his business was dull he used to fill his colorful balloons with helium and releases them high n the sky to cherish the innocent happiness that reflected on each and every children’s eyes who passed by him.Once a cute little child who was attracted by the flying balloons tugged the jacket of balloon seller and aroused the question that “Uncle why don’t you have my favorite color among your balloons that are flying high ? Is it because that my favorite color would not fly high?” due to his embracement the balloon seller asked the boy that what is your favorite color ? the child replied in a melancholy voice that my skin color was his favorite color .The child belonged to a black family and hence with dripping heart the balloon seller gave the best answer to the child that “My dear , it is the helium filled inside the balloon that make the balloon fly high not its color”.
                                                     It is never the external beauty that gives you the wings t o fly high ,it is the inner soul that gives life to the wings of flight. A beautiful wings will never let to fly but it is the courage and determination in the form of steadiness that makes the wings to conquer each and every obstacles on their path. There was such a bird who couldn’t fly because of her damaged wings but years after with her inner strength she aroused with her broken wings that was put together with glue called Courage she is none other than Lizzie Velasquez.

Lizzie velasquez-World’s ugliest women to world most inspirational women


Imagine that one morning you got up and checked YouTube and saw your video with a heading as World’s Ugliest Women and millions of people as viewed it and commented as why can’t you kill yourself nor why your parents didn’t kill you? If you are a human being on that spot itself you will scream with tears and you never have the courage to read the rest of the negative comments that goes on and on like a river that never ends.
Instead Lizzie put her tears close to her heart so her parents would t not get hurted and then she read out all the negative comments about her . And you know what she did she kept the negative comments as stairs to reach her goals and to fly high by spreading the fragrance of encouragement to the people around the world.